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Feminist sexuality: are men ready?

SEX ACCORDING TO MAÏA

Applying feminist advances to her sexuality: clearly, this is easier said than done. Besides, what would feminist practices look like? Impossible to settle this question: for some feminists, men come from Mars (they would therefore be “naturally” inclined to an active, even aggressive sexuality). For others, the category “male” is limited to a social construction. Some have psychoanalysis as a reference, others swear by the separation of the sexes (if everyone stays on their side, everything is simpler) or cyborg sexuality (the alliance of humans with prostheses or machines) . There are as many feminist sexualities as there are types of feminism: in other words, we haven’t left the inn. Luckily, everyone agrees on at least one point: macho sexuality overlooks, or despises, women’s desire and pleasure. This option does not appeal to many people. It even acts as a foil.

This is also one of the (rare) good news of the moment: our ideal of sexuality is rather egalitarian… even if the implementation is far from reaching this ideal. We grow up with the idea that men and women should derive equal pleasure from sex. The imagination of male performance translates a desire to balance orgasms: the “good shot” is the one that makes his partners come. Even if man does not always manage to create the miracle, he tries. Whether it’s bizarre, boring, adventurous, conventional or practiced in the back of a five-door Audi Quattro in the Amazon jungle, sexuality is paved with good intentions.

And yet. According to a survey published in March (IFOP/Wyylde), 44% of men refuse to question the norm of vaginal penetration, even though we have known for several decades that this sexual practice is not the most suitable for pleasure. feminine. 27% of men do not want to learn how to make their partner come (this information could disturb their infused knowledge) and would not want to use a sex toy to increase the pleasure of their lovers – as everyone knows, technology disturbs erections (just kidding, huh). Some limits are more symbolic: one in ten men refuses to be under his partner during sexual intercourse, refuses to take care of her after ejaculation, or refuses that she has a physically active role during penetration. (for example by moving his pelvis).

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